Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I like cheerios better."

steff double eff, bitches (ginge) wrote,
@ 2011-08-15 14:15:00

Entry tags:

I'm at work, semi-bored and can get away with reading TFLN...

Give me a character I play/character pairing AND/OR myself and you, and I will give you their top ~~four~~ RANDOM NUMBER of texts from last night.

(Post a new comment)

	shakespeare 2011-08-15 06:18 pm UTC (link)
	Kristy/ Steff. Go. (Reply to this) (Thread)

STEFF TO KRISTY

ginge
2011-08-15 06:35 pm UTC (link)

(732): Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.

(780): Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.

(307): And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.

(405): We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.

(647): I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

(303): Why is there bacon braided in my hair

(Reply to this) (Parent)

STEFF TO OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT KRISTY

ginge
2011-08-15 06:37 pm UTC (link)

(916): We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench

(972): The problem with a "hot and sexy" best friend is that you often get dangerously close to crossing the line as the night progresses...

(910): I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.

(707): come over after work tomorrow, ~~liz~~ KRISTY and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

(203): Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

(Reply to this) (Parent)

KRISTY TO STEFF

ginge
2011-08-15 06:47 pm UTC (link)

(775): It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

(+61): can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room

(970): I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.

(610): You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.

(918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

(267): that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	shinyfish 2011-08-15 06:52 pm UTC (link)
	me/you (Reply to this) (Thread)

STEFF TO VICKIE

ginge
2011-08-15 07:33 pm UTC (link)

(336): i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter

(541): blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best

(313): My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

(423): Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick

(713): Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

(Reply to this) (Parent)

STEFF TO OTHERS ABOUT VICKIE

ginge
2011-08-15 07:33 pm UTC (link)

(608): She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

(918): Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.

(805): No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

(918): It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.

(406): She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??

(Reply to this) (Parent)

VICKIE TO STEFF

ginge
2011-08-15 07:34 pm UTC (link)

(206): Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.

(415): Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.

(208): I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.

(+27): Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"

(270): you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shinyfish 2011-08-15 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	msfkdsajgkljLKJDSLKFJDSAF ALL OF THESE ARE SO PERFECT OMGGGG (Reply to this) (Parent)

	thelastenemy 2011-08-15 09:29 pm UTC (link)
	Bela & Gellert Roxie & Gellert :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

BELA → GELLERT

ginge
2011-08-16 04:41 pm UTC (link)

(who wants to point out she would never text)

(647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

(517): We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.

(250): I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

(267): Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

(559): there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.

(619): i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door

(Reply to this) (Parent)

ROXIE → GELLERT

ginge
2011-08-16 04:41 pm UTC (link)

(480): I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

(612): Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.

(519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

(408): A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.

(434): A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

(708): Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.

(773): he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	zombiebunny 2011-08-16 06:36 pm UTC (link)
	lol Albus and Bela (Reply to this) (Thread)

BELA → ALBUS

ginge
2011-08-16 08:18 pm UTC (link)

(678): There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?

(603): You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"

(832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

(870): I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

(916): let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.

(636): At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.

BONUS

ROXIE → ALBUS :

(330): yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	inksmudged 2011-08-16 08:22 pm UTC (link)
	Oooh. Stetf to me! Steve to Rose. (Reply to this) (Thread)

STEFF → JENN

ginge
2011-08-17 02:12 pm UTC (link)

(435): When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

(+43): my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

(917): I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.

(559): I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great

(248): i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.

(503): I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

STEVE → ROSE

ginge
2011-08-17 02:19 pm UTC (link)

(713): in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do

(613): I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

(785): you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it

(724): Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

(619): Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

(Reply to this) (Parent)

BONUS: ANG → KATIE

ginge
2011-08-17 06:07 pm UTC (link)

(732): Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?

(304): Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.

(330): I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.

(+44): She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.

(704): He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.

(907): I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude

(248): You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	tetris 2011-08-16 08:25 pm UTC (link)
	dorcas/sirius evan/cass my pee pee/your vajajay♥ (Reply to this) (Thread)

SIRIUS → DORCAS

ginge
2011-08-17 02:35 pm UTC (link)

(+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

(425): She's clinging to me like a horny koala.

(705): I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.

(715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

(614): It's never too late to be topless.

(316): Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first

(828): YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

(978): I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.

(714): IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX

(570): no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.

(901): Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

AND/OR THE ENTIRE SITE

(Reply to this) (Parent)

CASS → EVAN

ginge
2011-08-17 02:50 pm UTC (link)

(502): What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

(505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

(815): It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..

(864): You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

(970): You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.

(772): You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

MY BITS → YOUR BITS

ginge
2011-08-17 02:52 pm UTC (link)

(207): I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7

(619): Be still, my beating vagina.

(206): thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.

(208): I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

(832): And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.

(701): I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.

(214): Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.

(516): nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	dancealthough 2011-08-17 06:49 pm UTC (link)
	Millicent/Dennis AND Millicent/JOYDANA. And Angelina/meeeeee. (Is that even possible? The last one.) (Reply to this) (Thread)

DENNIS → MILLICENT

ginge
2011-08-17 07:20 pm UTC (link)

(719): Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

(654): And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.

(416): Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

(610): Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.

(216): The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

GIORDANA → MILLICENT

ginge
2011-08-17 07:20 pm UTC (link)

(860): its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.

(978): Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?

(740): Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

(513): Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

(303): You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.

(801): What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

ANG → YOU

ginge
2011-08-17 07:23 pm UTC (link)

(541): I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation

(713): Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'

(305): Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water

(802): She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

(225): Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?

(815): Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?

(904): Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

(Reply to this) (Parent)